Magic Mike (2012)

Do not read any further if you don't want to hear anything negative. To put it in the most realistic terms; Magic Mike SUCKS. Holy geez is this a bad movie. I don't even know where to begin. Everything is bad; the writing, the directing, the acting, the dancing, the choreography, the minimal stripping, and most blatant, the lack of attractive strippers.

I can hardly come up with even a one sentence synopsis. Magic Mike is a movie about a guy. That's about it. It's bland and boring. It's so weak, I cringe at even calling it a movie. It's a dry attempt at Boogie Nights meets Coyote Ugly, but instead it comes out Boogie Ugly. Normally I try to hold back on including spoilers, but this movie is already rancid.

Channing Tatum is Magic Mike. He is a sub par actor. So many scenes are painful to watch, but you watch anyway hoping his dancing will be worth it. If you have never seen him in Step Up (2006), you might not be so disappointed. Either way you expect so much more than he delivers.

Alex Pettyfer as Adam is such a drag. His pretty face could not save the day.

Matthew McConaughy as Dallas, the club owner, is annoying from the moment he opens his mouth. The lighting makes him look sullen and sick so you wonder if his character is supposed to be cracked out, but nothing in the story line indicates he's a meth head so I chalk it up to bad lighting.

Joe Manganiello as one of the strippers doesn't know how to dance, let alone strip. Same goes for Kevin Nash as Tarzan. When you first see him, you wonder if he's the bouncer because you don't expect a guy looking like that to be a stripper.

Cody Horn as Brooke, Adam's sister, is straight out of a scripted "reality" show.

Olivia Munn as Joanna is the only bright spot in this disaster of a movie. She's like the professional actress that agreed to help out her little cousin's student film.

The apex of the drama is underwhelming. You're constantly waiting for something major to happen, but it never does. Most of it is a build up to a "That's it?" reaction. Case in point, toward the end, Dallas somewhat challenges Mike to come up with "fresh" material. Mike goes on stage with what is supposed to look like combat gear but looks more like a corset and breaks out some hip hop moves. That's it. No really, that's it.

Sometimes we approach movies knowing that the writing will probably be cheesy, the acting corny, and the overall story predictable; but we watch it anyway hoping that the choreography of the dance, cheers, drum lines, stepping, stomping, or even playing cups while singing will be satisfaction enough to deal with the former. Do not approach Magic Mike this way. You will be disappointed. At best, Magic Mike is a high budget porn without the porn.

On a scale of 1-10, Magic Mike is 2.0
                              with distinction: highly overrated.


http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1915581/?ref_=rvi_tt

Dangerous Companions (2005)

A wonderfully heartfelt and simply happy documentary that I highly recommend. Dangerous Companions is an incredible story about a man named Kevin Richardson who trains and cares for the wild animals at a game reserve near Johannesburg, South Africa. It is a rosy depiction of his life and relationship with the animals at the reserve.

They do a very good job at introducing the animals. You get to know the personalities of each animal pretty well. After a particular segment of one of the animals, you think that one is your favorite until you see another. You end up loving all of them and all their quirky traits.

The narrator Nick Boraine is clear, concise, and has a soothing yet energetic voice. The writing is perfect. The story is very easy to follow. You are never confused about which animal goes where and who or what or why. It's simple and effective.

There are a few sad moments but overall it's uplifting and surprisingly filled with many funny parts.

Dangerous Companions: 8.5
                 with distinction: highly underrated.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2462542/?ref_=rvi_tt

Flypaper (2011)

Mildly funny, decently entertaining. Flypaper is a campy heist movie blended with frail and desperate extractions from 'Clue' (1985).

Patrick Dempsey tries really really hard but falls flat. He doesn't pull off the neurotic type well at all. He has his moments...or...a moment rather. It would've been much better had he channeled his best performance as Ronald Miller from 'Can't Buy Me Love' (1987) instead of his more popular role, Dr. McDreamy from 'Grey's Anatomy.'

Ashley Judd is insignificant because the character is so bland there's not much anyone can do with it. It's so bland I can't think of anything else to say!

There are recognizable faces, Mekhi Phifer, Jeffrey Tambor, Oscar winner Octavia Spencer, and Curtis Armstrong otherwise affectionately known as "Booger" from the 'Revenge of the Nerds' franchise. Sadly, the recognizable cast adds to the predictability of it all.

The stereotypes are heavy and unimaginative. The movie is rushed which contributes to the lack of chemistry among the entire cast. It was almost hilarious; unfortunately it's just a nice little flick to watch while you're you're doing something else, like making dinner or writing emails, etc.

On a scale of 1-10, Flypaper: 6.0


http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1541160/

Family Weekend (2013)

Family Weekend is not quite what you think it will be. Yes it's simple. A teenage kid gets mad that her family isn't "normal" and then, like most teens, holds her parents hostage until they all love each other again. The premise is essentially a copy and paste from the 1996 Jamie Lee Curtis movie House Arrest, which is also very good by the way, with less action and energy and just a little more thought and intellect. I mistakenly assumed that it would be a PG movie like House Arrest, but Family Weekend is actually rated R. The R rating comes mainly from subject matter rather than vulgarity or violence.

There are so many quirky roles in this movie it's hard to know which ones to point out. Matthew Modine as "the dad" most definitely doesn't look like his usual clean and pretty self, but it's worth it because he gives a terrific performance that remarkably doesn't overburden the rest of the cast.

It's uncomfortable watching Joey King (portraying a 9 year old) pretend to be a hooker, especially when you realize she's Ramona Quimby from Ramona and Beezus! Her character is obsessed with acting so the concept gets a pass and in the end you realize what a good and fun performance it is.

Eddie Hassell as big brother Jackson is the most distracting. His performance is noticeably inferior compared to the entire cast. You do get used to him midway through, you just have to bear the embarrassment for the first half.

Kristin Chenoweth as "the mom" was good but I really wish Julie Bowen from Modern Family played this part. It's difficult to blend an uptight, career driven individual with comedy. Chenoweth did have funny parts, but Bowen is a better comedic actress and could have delivered more laughs.

There are so many lovable, relatable, and unique characters. Usually a cast with so much definition ends up feeling crowded and many times you feel like you didn't get enough; not in this case. There is no overwhelming ego hogging up the energy and if there was, then the director and editor did an amazing job covering it up.

On a scale of 1-10, Family Weekend is 8.0
                              with distinction: underrated.

Scene spotlights: Joey King, as Lucinda, at the dinner table and in the end outside of her house.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1821426/

Exam (2009)

Another one for the Netflix obsessed! Exam is about an exam, obviously; but the movie is more like a riddle. You find yourself speaking out loud giving your ideas on what should be done. It's probably a lot more fun to watch this movie with someone so that you can express your ideas, but honestly you would end up talking to yourself if you were watching it alone.

With the exception of the one character without a British accent, the acting is pretty decent. No one stands out yet everyone is noticeable.

Mild spoiler ahead...

If there is one thing this movie is missing, it's the lack of definition about the current state of the world. They gloss over the desperation and desire for the available position. There is room for more clarity on the subject through dialogue but even a simple paragraph in the introduction of the movie would be sufficient. Other than that, this movie is fun and not at all scary and barely suspenseful.

It's sometimes difficult to watch movies without many scenery changes. 'Exam' does leave a few unfulfilled wishes but only in the sense that the overarching story leads you to daydream about the possible world the candidates live in.

One thing I would highly recommend is to play along with the movie. Guess who will be the first and who will be the last. It's a terrific ride.

Exam is another hidden gem in the Netflix library!

On a scale of 1-10; Exam is 7.0


http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1258197/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1